Chronicles of an Amateur

Following the uproar over the kissing of Ms. Shetty by Gere, Hon. Judge Dinesh Gupta has ordered the arrest of Ms. Shetty and Gere. He had termed the act as “Sexually erotic”. Then will a liplock be full blown porn??, me wonders!! :) Neways my company, which has recently branched out into various divisions including the medical field, was quick to identify this as an acute case of “Inflammo Stomachiosis”, which can be best simplified as “stomach burn”. Regarding this, my company’s antacid, U-No’s high profile ads will start rolling on the screen in the near future. The horrible, sorry, honorable magistrate has agreed to act in this ad, as long as I don’t say a particular phrase, that being “in top gear”. :)

The ad will involve the magistrate doing a jingle which goes thus,

“You can miss and

You can kiss, But,

I won’t hiss,

I am just going for a small piss^*

* Drinking too much of U-no will create an urge to piss. [RTI Act, 2006].

Btw, This jingle was penned by our very own Karadi king, T.Rajendar who proved that he can talk, walk and eat English, here

The ads will be extended to accommodate Salman, Viveik (Refer the pics and the jingles below) and maybe Abhishek (in the future). Neways, our sales executives indicate that almost all the critics, who watched Aishwarya’s insufferable “Are you like, checking me out?” dialogue in Dhoom II have ordered U-no in wholesale quantities.

For now the ads are to be screened in India. It was originally intended that considering the muslim countries’ tradition, Ms. Shetty will wear a full pardah and then Gere will kiss her. But Ms. Shetty has declined the offer stating that she being proud of her body, (we too Shetty, we too :)) believes in Maximum and not Minimum exposure. Thanks a lot Shetty!!

The jingles for Salman, Viveik and Abhishek are as follows:

Don’t worry Salman,

Come on, Be a man

Stand tall, after all Viveik,

She didn’t give a fuck :)!!

But what to say, Abhishek

I dunno, U might get a heartache!!

Labels: Random...., WTF

# posted by G@ne$# @ 11:14 PM